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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Boycott Targets

Target Misses the Mark, Combines Plus Sizes with Maternity

The worst question you can ask an overweight woman of virtually any age is, “So, when are you due?”
We think, “Shut up! I’m fat, damnit, not pregnant!”  Of course, that’s not how most would reply. Weight challenged individuals are usually apologetic, even when insulted, humiliated, or ashamed. We apologize for THEIR error, wanting to spare their embarrassment -- being so deeply and keenly aware of the enormity of both our size and perceived failures.
With its recent store reconfiguration, Target, an otherwise fine retailer, actively invites this insensitive question.  Is Target consciously perpetuating ongoing discrimination against overweight women?
Target tucked its “Plus Size Women’s” section into the Maternity Department and put both into a nearly hidden, discreet back corner of the store, the back of the “bus” so to speak, so as not to expose such ‘unpleasant situations’ to others.
It gets worse.
The clothes for the overweight and for expectant mothers are hung side by side on the same racks! This forces plus size women to examine each and every label while standing next to a seemingly everpresent young woman, utterly fit, but with a belly clearly into her ninth month. Her clothes labels are marked s/m/lg/xl.  The clothes for large, non-pregnant women are coded 1/2/3/4. Side by side.
Someone could walk by and think, “Wow, she (substitute any derogatory term so often, sadly, applied by others) has to buy maternity clothes because she’s so big!”
Those who are size, shopping, and weight challenged do not need to be reminded that they are hard to fit. There are stores devoted solely to the “plus size woman.” Others simply have friendlier departments that specialize in these sizes.  Since the obesity crisis in America is certainly in the news, it is hard to believe that Target would intentionally insult a large segment of their customers.  However, it is inconceivable that no senior manager there recognized the insensitivity of its plus/maternity combination during the course of a carefully plotted national chain reorganization.
Shopping is certainly not an easy activity for the overweight.  The limited range of clothes and styles available are often ugly and matronly.  In many stores, trying on clothes in a dressing room designed for the slim puts plus size folks in a tight spot, literally. Many can remember being teased as children that their clothes would have to come from “the tent-maker.” The equivalent fear for grown-ups is that, God forbid, all one could wear is maternity clothes.
Target has certainly reinforced that fear as well as the common belief in America that big (even pregnant) is to be hidden. Perhaps Target should put the “Petites” in the children’s section. With the infant wear?
Clearly, the Target overhaul was designed by someone clueless and slender (and probably male).  Whoever their creative overseers are, they certainly haven’t a clue about the daily discrimination weight-challenged Americans must handle simply to get through the day.
So, if you or a loved one shop plus size, or if you simply hate the notion that anyone, including the overweight, in America are disciminated against, perhaps you and I should take our business elsewhere. 

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Moguls, Mysteries, and Whitman



" Put up yer dukes and show me whatcha got!" Wow. The classic combative cliche. Also how so many feel day to day at work, at home or in school. 
     I've never been much interested, actually in either what you or I "have got,"  (the one with the most toys wins?) or what you or I "do." (Corner office? A lot of initials after your name?)
     Why? Because my true legacy isn't about either my assets, or my accomplishments (How many of us have been Mandela, Ghandi, or Mother Teresa, really?). It's about WHO and HOW I am, and the stories I leave in the hearts of family, friends, and strangers. 
     We are the authors and playwrights of our lives, regardless of and in partnership with our higher power or destiny. As we search to recognize the meaning of our lives, many, including me, find that the lasting memory, the value, our legacy is in our stories, our daily routines, and how we’ve created lives that reflect our core values. 
     My father often said, "If they put me down tomorrow, I haven't missed a trick!" I'm quite sure that was true. He truly lived with zest and vigor. He also said, "It's my birthday, but YOU get the presents." And I did.  He was both kind and generous to everyone, donating anonymously and widely, and giving treats to anyone who stopped by.  In summer he'd proudly pluck a tomato off the vine or gather a few flowers for you from the back yard. No one left empty handed. Long before the movie, he "paid it forward." 
       He would have been 100 years old on 1-11-11, so naturally I bought my son a lobster, to celebrate my Dad's day as he might have.


       Our lives are teachings. We are tapestries, symphonies that are woven out of those unique hardships and joys, the moguls hurdled, through which we leave our chyrsallis behind and emerge filled with light and beauty.
      
       We inspire those around us, but only if we share our story, our passions, secrets, and deepest thoughts. Our rituals, traditions, and customs unique to our family need transmission and elaboration to survive.
      
       When we tell our stories, define our legacies, we reach towards commonality and universality, towards the bliss, nirvana, echad, and oneness depicted in such classics as the “Family of Man,” “The Prophet” and “Whitman’s “Song of Myself.” 

                        Let 
your story live.
      Share the wealth of who you are,
                             how you are,
                    and where you’ve been,
                                                        not your assets,        
           credentials, judgements or disappointments.